I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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