I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
