Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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