do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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