it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
