So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
