ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I did not marry a roomba.
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