he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Acid is not a monday night drug
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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