I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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