im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
