She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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