physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
