2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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