1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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