Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
