theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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