You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
