You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
third nipple confirmed
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
