I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
