Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
