I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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