i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
