was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
