HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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