Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
