I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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