***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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