Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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