Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
