so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
