hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
