Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
