Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
