Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
