Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
