dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
