so that wasnt chicken after all
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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