I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
