Everything about him screamed your future.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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