Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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