Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
