i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
