Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
