Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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