How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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