To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
