i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
