google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
