I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
