I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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