I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
